Achieving Happiness Without Seeking Success Validation

We’re all used to achieving happiness from external circumstances, events, people and things. We are taught from a very young age to depend on other people’s validation to fuel our own self esteem. Whether this is in the form of compliments, awards, likes, tags, applause. It all depends on how an individual perceives his or her own success validation. True and lasting happiness comes from within yourself, where you are happy, calm and at peace no matter what is happening around you.

If you find yourself unable to resist achieving happiness by seeking outside validation, through social media and things people have written or said about you, and you feel a range of bad feelings as a result, you may want to take back the control.

Why seek Success Validation from the Outside?

There is a reason you feel a compulsion to validate your own self through what other people say and do. And once you pinpoint and resolve that, you will no longer be interested in achieving happiness by curating likes and “hits” on your social media posts. When you’re no longer emotionally affected by the comments of others and thus be able to achieve genuine happiness.

This isn’t about willpower. This is about reimprinting your mind to achieve a more sustainable model of happiness. The reason you’re hooked to seeking success validation by your social media posts, or learning more about what others are saying or thinking about you, is the same reason people do drugs, drink excessive alcohol and watch horror movies. It’s chemical.

Whenever you experience something that makes you feel angry, outraged, indignant, fearful, and any other stressed state, your brain and body are flooded with stress chemicals, such as adrenaline and cortisol.

This is why you feel drawn to experiences that make your body release more of these chemicals. So if getting onto social media or gossiping with someone makes you feel happy, you are receiving a “hit” of that chemical concoction – whether it’s joy, anger, fear, or any other intense state.

This keeps you coming back for more of the same for achieving happiness. In order to break that compulsion, you need to break the pattern. You need to make the conscious decision to achieve success validation without depending on that particular activity. As you do this, the “hit” you get from those particular chemicals will reduce, and so will the compulsion.

Now, in the beginning this can seem almost impossible – because your body and brain are telling you that you need those chemicals. This is exactly how a drug addict feels, so in a way, you’re addicted to achieving happiness from other people and circumstances.This will be experienced as a physical compulsion – and the conscious mind will then apply logic and reason to try to make sense of these compulsions.

You may find yourself coming up with a range of reasons why it’s okay (perhaps even necessary) to expose yourself to this stuff that doesn’t feel good. There is a way to take this compulsion away – quickly and effectively, using Eutaptics – so that you naturally are not interested in the things you know are detrimental to your well-being and your time management.

A list of ways to avoid seeking success validation:

1. Social media is a wonderful way to keep in contact with friends and family; but it can also be detrimental to those who simply can’t pull themselves away from it. Scientific research into social media addiction has shown that Facebook is the most addictive. There are several reasons for this, including the fact that it allows the user to talk about themselves.  Cut down on the time you spend on Facebook or other social media platforms. Take it slow, instead of being on social media for 5 hours a day, slowly reduce 30 mins every other day. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying social media in moderation; however, if you find it’s affecting how you feel, or impacting on areas of your life in a negative way, it’s time to make a change. Fortunately, there is a way to break this addiction fairly easily and without needing to go “cold turkey”.

2. Does achieving happiness mean needing to comment or reply to comments on videos, posts, pictures or anything else? If you find yourself unable to resist reading stuff that other people have written, and feeling a range of bad feelings as a result, you may want to take back control. This is not about willpower and dragging yourself away; there is a reason you’re feeling this compulsion, and when you resolve that, you will no longer be interested never mind feel emotionally affected by the comments of others.

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Calming video of Cabo San Lucas

Sometimes, I imagine myself sitting on a beach, the warm sun bathing my face as I listen to the water greet the shoreline. I instantly feel the stress leave my body as the water recedes and I feel at one with the earth, with myself and it feels good. I go to my happy place a lot and videos like this help me escape.  Enjoy!