Letting Go of Negative Self Talk

photo: pixabay

Letting go of negative self talk is a topic I am all to familiar with and every now and then I run across an article that inspires me to write a tapping script to help neutralize those thoughts.

As described in "Overcoming Negative Self Talk with a Writing Exercise", self talk is automatic, subtle, comes in forms of short words or images, produces anxiousness and can incite a panic attack. 

It is a bad habit that needs to be reprogrammed.  

The author Aimee White suggested a writing exercise to figure out negative self talk. I loved her idea, but I took that one step further and used those journal notes to tap on my negative thoughts and feelings until they no longer bothered me.

So....what did that look like and where did I start? 

I have been tapping since 2008, so I was well versed in the process of how to tap and how to use my thoughts in the process of self soothing.

If you have never tapped before, I suggest you learn the basics first. Familiarize yourself with the tapping points and how to tap here. There are oodles of videos on You Tube as well.

The following script is very basic as it deals with the act of negative self talk, nothing specific to you and your situation. 

Before you start tapping, I want you to write down in bullet points all the thoughts that are going through your head right now, the ones you can't get rid of. Where do you feel it in your body? Is your heart pounding, does your head hurt, your back ache? Describe what you are feeling - if it's pain, is it a sharp pain, ache, stabbing? Be as descriptive as you can. 

Now give this situation a number. Rate it from 1-10 with 10 being the worst feelings, thoughts or pain. 

After you tap on the words outlined below, I want you to rate it again. Has the number come down? Have the feelings changed? Has the pain moved or changed? Everyone is different and will get different results. There is no right or wrong here, so jot down everything that you are feeling. 

Once you have done that, I want you to take a deep breath and start tapping on the Karate Chop point and say:

"Even though I am overwhelmed with all of these thoughts swirling around in my head, I love and respect myself anyway"

"Even though I am driving myself crazy with all of these imaginary scenarios, I honor this part of me anyway"

"Even though I know I shouldn't do this to myself but I don't know how to stop, I love that I am taking the necessary steps to turn this around." 

EB: All these thoughts

SE: Rushing through my head

UE: Causing me to worry

UN: All of these "What if's"

CH: That's all I can think about

CB: It is consuming me

UA: I just keep hitting the "replay" button in my mind

HD: I can't seem to move forward

WR: What's wrong with me?

Take a deep breath and continue

EB: I don't understand why I do this to myself

SE: I know it doesn't do any good

UE: It doesn't solve any problems

UN: It just keeps me stuck

CH: In a place I really don't want to be

CB: So why can't I move on

UA: Why do I torture myself

HD: It feels like self abuse

WR: I wouldn't do this to anyone else, so why do I do it to myself?

Take a deep breath and continue 

EB: I really do want to find a way to turn this around

SE: Maybe it is easier than I thought

UE: Maybe this silly tapping thing actually works

UN: I'm willing to give it a try if it will help calm me down

CH: I will take a deep breath

CB: And close my eyes

UA: I will tap on my negative thoughts 

HD: Each and every one of them

WR: Until they melt away

Take a deep breath and continue  

EB: I forgive myself and anyone else that may have contributed to all these negative thoughts

SE: It is safe to let them go

UE: They serve no purpose

UN: Other than keeping me from moving forward 

CH: This too shall pass

CB: And I will realize that things aren't as bad as I imagined

UA: I am being my own worst enemy

HD: And now it is safe to let it all go

WR: I am so grateful I am finally turning this around

Take a deep breath and continue

EB: I can feel my body relaxing 

SE: I can feel the worry and anxiety start to melt away

UE: I am becoming more calm

UN: The mental stress is fading

CH: The gray cloud is lifting

CB: The sunshine is starting to peek through 

UA: I am starting to feel a lot lighter

HD: This IS easier than I thought

WR: I can really feel a mental shift taking place

Take a deep breath and continue 

EB: It's safe to let this go

SE: All the stress, fear, worry and hopelessness 

UE: It's safe to let them all go

UN: I'm safe

CH: I am more relaxed

CB: I am calmer

UA: I am so happy I learned how to take control of my thoughts and emotions

HD: I am very grateful

WR: Peace

Take a final deep breath and rate your feelings and emotions like you did before you started. What has changed? What is your new number? 

To continue your progress, you will want to tap on the specifics of your situation, your thoughts, your aches and pains. Just talk and tap. 

This is a very forgiving but effective process. Be persistent and consistent for effective results.

 Leave me a comment below and let me know how this worked for you.

Showering you with blessings of peaceful thoughts and calmer tomorrow's! 
 

How to Forgive Yourself for a Sh**ty 2014 & MOVE On

Have you found yourself looking back over the past year and realizing it was a near failure? Are there things you regret, or were you too scared to make a much needed change?

Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. There are millions of people out there just like you (us), wishing that they had the internal strength to free themselves from their sad prisons. Whether it be a horrible relationship, boring or frustrating job, limited thought patterns, disgusting eating habits, or fear-based living, the good news is that you don’t have to wait until the clock strikes midnight on January 1, 2015 to make a change.
It all starts now.

I once sat in a Marianne Williamson lecture in Los Angeles where a woman asked a huge question: “How do I get out of my abusive relationship?” She then continued, “I keep thinking it’s going to get better, but it doesn’t. And if I leave, I know I’ll be a big disappointment to my family, and I’ll leave my husband high and dry. I don’t know what to do.”

Williamson looked her straight in the eye and said, “Honey, you are not in prison. You need to make the decision for yourself alone. Freedom can be yours.” She then pointed off into the distance and said, “There’s the door. All you have to do is walk out and never look back. There’s the door, walk out!”

It occurred to me in that moment that we all have so much more power than we know. We can change our life’s course in a millisecond, and here’s how:

1. Throw your failures out the door and look for new successes. We all made mistakes in 2014. The beauty of it is that we don’t have to think about them now. Ditch the suckers and look for something good to happen RIGHT NOW.
“Every thought is over. That’s grace. No thought: no problem. It’s not possible to have a problem without believing a prior thought. To notice this simple truth is the beginning of peace,” writes author Byron Katie.
In other words, let the past be the past and move on.

2. Let go of the people dragging you down. A friend of mine moaned and groaned the other day about a friend that keeps making her feel horrible. “She just breaks me down and makes me feel like shit,” she said.
It’s safe to say that she is allowing herself to feel like crap. No one should ever hold so much power that they inspire her to feel less than precious and amazing. Once again, I hear Williamson’s words ringing through my mind… “there’s the door, walk out!”
Why do you think the award-winning “Let it Go” from the movie Frozen is such a hit? Letting go of what doesn’t serve you opens up the infinite world of possibility.
We all need to let the negative voices in our lives go, or we’ll have an even shittier 2015 and beyond.

3. Get passionate. Do everything you can to infuse yourself with the childlike passion you once owned. If you hate your job or you aren’t doing enough constructive things with your free time, make the needed adjustments.
Take steps toward making a career change, schedule the trip you’ve always wanted to take, find your relevance in the world, and don’t be afraid to be beautifully you.

4. Don’t let “the world” define you. Much of our frustrations in life have lots to do with the fact that we don’t claim our authenticity. The easy road is letting the people we know, politics, religion, and other forces shove us into the corner. And then, we secretly wish we could be as bold and powerful as the people we read about or see on television.
Ask yourself what is limiting your potential. What’s wrong with letting your uniqueness out of the box? Are you afraid of losing the people in your life?
It’s time to realize that where there is fear, there is no love — and where there is love there can be no fear.
What’s the worst thing that can happen if you let the real you come out of hiding? If you lose friends or a lover, they obviously aren’t really your friends or your ideal match.
If you lose a job, it wasn’t meant for you. And if you’re nervous along the way, that’s just fine. All growth comes with bits of pain. The secret is pushing through it.

5. Choose to limit suffering. The world we live in is painful and it isn’t always fair. We lose people to disease, our fortunes can be lost in an instant, we fall and bruise our knees, our kids make wrong choices, and the list goes on.

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Say you’re running and you think, ‘Man, this hurts, I can’t take it anymore. The ‘hurt’ part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can stand anymore is up to the runner himself,” writes famed author Haruki Murakami.
If we’re all going to have an amazing 2015, we’ve got to will our minds to stay positive. To know that life isn’t perfect, and that we’ll all hurt, yet in every moment we can choose to see the positive. Feel the pain, but don’t suffer for days, weeks, and months to come.
Focus on the now.

The secret of all secrets, is that it’s still possible to have a kickass 2014. Right now, right here. Will it to be better, and set yourself up for a freakin’ stellar 2015.

Original article by Jen Engevik: http://firsttoknow.com/how-to-have-a-good-new-year/

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