I have and it felt very one sided. Soon into the conversation I could tell this person had other things on their mind and that they were totally uninterested because they were bored, preoccupied or plainly didn't care.
I was listening to a TED talk recently and the speaker was addressing how to magically connect with people. Although I had never given it much thought before, it made me think of how I felt when I didn't feel listened to.
When we engage in conversation with friends, family or random strangers, we have to get ourselves out of the way in order to connect with them on an emotional and/or spiritual level, a level that makes them walk away from the conversation feeling good about themselves and their interaction with us.
How do we get ourselves out of the way?
What does that mean?
It means to put down our phones, stop watching the TV, make eye to eye contact and connect. You may not know what to say or how to respond, but more than likely, the person talking just wants to be heard, to be validated.
Many times they aren't looking to you for solutions or answers, they just want to be heard.
When you actively listen, they feel like you care, like what they are saying matters.
So put your agenda, your worries or anything else that is distracting you aside and focus on the person in front of you.
If you are someone who struggles with awkward conversations or don't feel like a good communicator, we've all been there at some point in our lives and it's ok.
It's time to rewire your brain and to transform your interactions to better connect with humanity!
The best way to rewire or reprogram your thinking is with tapping and I have written a script to help you
If you have never tapped before, I suggest you learn the basics first. Familiarize yourself with the tapping points and how to tap here.
There are oodles of videos on You Tube as well.
Tap on the Karate Chop point and say:
If you have never tapped before, I suggest you learn the basics first. Familiarize yourself with the tapping points and how to tap here.
There are oodles of videos on You Tube as well.
Tap on the Karate Chop point and say:
Even though I struggle with emotional connections, I love who I am anyway
Even though I seem to get caught up in my own thoughts and have a difficult time focusing on others, I am open to the possibility that I can change that
Even though I feel awkward in certain conversations, I know this is normal, but I am willing to approach these situations differently in the future.
EB: I sometimes struggle connecting with others
SE: I get anxious about how I'm going to respond
UE: What if I can't find the words?
UN: I've done that before
CH: I didn't mean to, I just froze
CB: I'm just not good at personal connections
UA: I have so many things running through my mind
HD: That I lose focus
WR: All these awkward conversations
Take a deep breath and continue
EB: I want to be a better communicator
SE: I want to connect with people, especially my friends and family
UE: Maybe I can learn how to focus on them
UN: And less on my own thoughts
CH: After all, the conversation is about them
CB: Not about me
UA: They are important, everyone is important
HD: Everyone has a story, good or bad
WR: And I need to listen
EB: Maybe I can learn something by listening to others
SE: Maybe if I relax and just be myself
UE: I can enjoy conversations
UN: And both of us will feel better
CH: I might learn something new or different about them
CB: They may feel like they matter
UA: I will gain their trust
HD: It will be a win win for both of us
WR: This may be easier than I thought
Take a deep breath and continue
EB: I choose to give my full attention to everyone I talk to today
SE: I will look in their eyes and listen
UE: I will put my self in their shoes
UN: And connect with them emotionally and energetically
CH: I will respond in a way that makes them feel heard
CB: I will make this about them
UA: And not about me
HD: If they want my opinion, they will ask
WR: I will respond in a caring and loving tone
Take a deep breath and continue
EB:I forgive myself and anyone else that may have contributed to my inability to listen and fully connect
SE: I am choosing to turn this around
UE: I love that there is a way to change the way I connect
UN: Right now I am listening to my own thoughts
CH: And connecting with myself on a level I never have before
CB: This will make me a better listener
UA: A better communicator
HD: This tapping thing might just work
WR: I am feeling confident
Peace!
Peace!
Showering you with blessings of close personal connections and meaningful conversations,
Cindy
