Never Force Anything

Solid Relationships Are Built On Sacrifices and Caring

You Cannot Change What You Do Not Acknowledge

Easier Said Than Done!

Someone close to me is going through a rough patch right now, a very rough patch. She lost her job to circumstances beyond her control and and her marriage is falling apart. Divorce is inevitable and surviving on her own is very scary for her. As much as it kills me to see her hurting, I know I am not in control of the outcome.

One thing I have learned in the last decade is that I have to let go of situations I cannot control. Accompanying that, I discovered a new found freedom of peace that I didn't think was possible. I have also learned that everything and I mean everything happens for a reason. Even though what's happening to my friend literally sucks, it's in the best interest of all involved to step back, take a deep breath and trust the process.

I'm hearing all of you right now saying "yeah, easier said than done Cindy!" 

I understand that feeling because I too have been in that same situation thinking the exact same thing. Looking back, everything happened and played out exactly as it was meant to. I didn't realize it at the time, but now I understand. The challenges and the scary times all pushed me in a direction I wouldn't have consciously chosen for myself but they made I me who I am today. I am very proud of who I've become and what I've accomplished.

I had a conversation with this same friend a few days ago and after filling me in on disturbing events that had recently transpired, I expected her to break down. But she didn't. Instead she told me how excited she was for the future! I was shocked, I didn't see that coming. She said she didn't  know at this point how she's going to make it, but she knew she would. She explained that she had so many possibilities and choices opening up to her that she hadn't expected.

A few months ago, none of these potential choices were available to her. In fact, she couldn't have imagined them on her own. But now they were opening up slowly and beautifully, like a tender rosebud, blossoming the way nature intended.

Months ago, she had found herself slowly sinking to the bottom of the barrel. The suffocating darkness that had once surrounded her, had started to slowly dissipate. Refusing to wallow in self pity, she looked up and saw a glimmer of light streaming down upon her. She reached up, grabbed the tail end of that light. As the sun got brighter her attitude changed and then her world changed!

It never ceases to amaze me what can happen in our lives when we are given a ray of hope. It is the catalyst for our dreams, it's what keeps us going when we don't want to get out of bed.

I am so very proud of my friend and I feel honored to have her in my life! Even though she is 20 years younger than me, she is decades ahead of me in regards to learning the very same lessons. Life lessons that took me until I was in my 40's to learn. She has warmed my heart and touched my soul on a level I could have never expected!

If you or someone you love are going through a rough patch, keep your eyes open for that little ray of light, for it is that glimmer of hope that makes life's challenges easier than we could have imagined! 

I have provided a tapping script to help you!

 If you are new to this blog and unfamiliar with the tapping process, please see the "introduction to tapping" link at the top of this page.
It will provide you with everything you need to know!

Remember to change the words to fit your personal situation so it resonates with you!

Start with the Karate chop point.

Karate chop point:

*Even though I am hurting right now, I love myself anyway 

*Even though I feel like I am sinking fast, I honor this feeling and everything it means to me 

*Even though I have no idea how I'm going to get through this, I love who I am and choose to trust the process

Start the first round of tapping:

EB: I have no idea how I'm going to get through this

SE: I feel like I'm sinking fast

UE: This really sucks right now

UN: The darkness is suffocating

CH: Some days I feel like I can't breathe

CB: I don't want to get out of bed

UA: I don't want to face another day

HD: I am scared

WR: I am losing hope

Take a deep breath or two and proceed to the next round

EB: I know I can't live like this forever

SE: It's lonely in this deep dark hole of uncertainty

UE: If my world is going to change

UN: I know I have to look deep inside

CH: No matter what's happened

CB: I have to take control of my life

UA: I still don't know how

HD: But no one else can do that for me

WR: I refuse to wallow in self pity

Take a deep breath or two and proceed to the next round

EB: Life is full of opportunities

SE: Some I don't even know exist right now

UE: But I'm going to step back and trust the process

UN: I'm going to trust that there is a power higher than myself

CH: Who knows what's best for me

CB: I don't have to have all the answers right now

UA: I don't have to know the "how"

HD: I just need to have faith

WR: And trust the process

 Take a deep breath or two and proceed to the next round

EB: I forgive myself and anyone else that contributed to my current situation

SE: I choose to let it all go

UE: All the hurt, hopelessness, helplessness and despair

UN: It's time to let it go

CH: It's safe to let it go

CB: I'm safe

UA: Everything is going to be okay

HD: That ray of hope is shining brightly

WR: I am excited about all the unknown possibilities coming my way! 

Showering you with blessing of hope, clarity and confidence!

If Your Efforts Are Wrapped Up In Getting Even

Even Though I Am Not In Control

I Choose To Trust And Appreciate The Process

This past week has been particularly challenging for several people close to me. They have had to sit back and accept a situation that was out of their control, one that they so desperately wanted to help resolve.

Sometimes life doesn’t seem fair.
Certain situations are out of our control.

Maybe distance is a factor or the people involved don’t want help. Maybe it involves a situation on a national or global scale that you feel you should contribute to, but don't have the resources to do so.
None the less, it doesn’t feel any better when we can't be involved or aren't in control, especially when we are emotionally involved to some degree.

Whatever your situation is today, the following tapping script may help lighten the emotional burden you are currently carrying until the situation is resolved.
My wish is that it helps bring calm and peace to any situation that is weighing heavy on your mind today.


If you are new to this blog and unfamiliar with the tapping process, please see the "introduction to tapping" link at the top of this page.
It will provide you with everything you need to know!

As always, please change the words to fit your current situation

Karate chop point:

"Even though I want to help but I can’t, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway”
"Even though I feel helpless, I accept this feeling and everything it means to me”
"Even though this is out of my control, which is something I am not used to, I honor this part of my personality”

Round One:

EB: I feel so helpless
SE: I want to help (insert name) very badly
UE: I want to take their pain away
UN: I don’t like it when I am not in control
CH: That is hard for me to accept
CB: I am a fixer - I fix problems
UA: But I can’t fix this one
HD: I am not sure how to cope right now...
WR: The outcome is not within my control

** Now take a deep breath or two and proceed to the second round of tapping**

Round Two:

EB: In my heart, I know I have to let go
SE: I can't get caught up in the "how" of this situation
UE: This is going to be hard for me to do
UN: But if I don’t, it is going to eat away at me
CH: Eventually, it will eat away at my body
CB: It will manifest as a disease if I continue to focus on this situation
UA: What good will I be to those I love and CAN help, if I am sick
HD: I have to alter my thoughts about this situation right now
WR: Maybe this will all work out better than I ever imagined

** Now take a deep breath or two and proceed to the third round of tapping**

Round Three:

EB: I choose to let go of the "how" today
SE: I must trust that this situation is part of a bigger picture
UE: I choose to appreciate the process of diving timing
UN: This is a process of growing, loving and trusting in a higher power
CH: It all boils down to love for each other anyway
CB: So I am going to send my deepest love to ___ and this situation
HD: And accept the outcome to happen exactly as it is meant to happen
WR: I am feeling more calm, confident and peaceful now!

**Take a final deep breath and repeat as necessary**

Wishing you peaceful thoughts,
Cindy (Selvaggio) Shumaker

I want to push the fast forward button!

What if we had the capability to fast forward through life's challenges and take a peek at the ending?

If we knew the outcomes, we could make better decisions, make better choices and remain in control.

How cool would that be?

Or would it…

I have stared down life’s challenges many times, face to face, eye to eye and the hardest part of the situation was not having all the answers; not knowing which way to turn or which decision was the best.

Looking back, I realize those were the times I had the most personal growth.

If it were not for the gut wrenching, heart breaking, mentally exhausting challenges, I would not be who I am today.

There was freedom in realizing that I wasn’t perfect, that I didn’t have all the answers and that I had no idea how I was going to land on my feet.
The freedom to make mistakes, to fail and to find out what I was made of. The freedom to let go and trust my intuition, to believe in a higher power and most importantly, divine timing!
The freedom to truly live and grow!

Those were the times that blessed me with new opportunities, new surroundings and new acquaintances.

I can say without a doubt, I would not have the friends I do today; I would not have started a blog or an inspirational Facebook page, had I not emotionally touched those pieces of my life’s puzzle.


I am so grateful for the challenges and the uncertainties because they contributed to the richness of my life as it is today!

If you are having challenges and need a little help trusting the process and accepting the fact that this is exactly where you need to be to grow, I have provided a tapping script to help calm nerves and ease emotional turmoil.

If you are new to this blog and unfamiliar with the tapping process, please see the "introduction to tapping" link at the top of this page. It will provide you with everything you need to know!
As always, please change the words to fit your current situation

Karate chop point:

"Even though I have no idea what’s going to happen, I love and accept myself anyway”
"Even though I don’t have answers, I love who I am ”
"Even though there is so much uncertainty, I accept these feelings and everything they mean to me”

Round One:

EB: I have no idea how this is going to turn out
SE: So much to think about
UE: I don’t have all the answers
UN: I am always in control
CH: People look to me for guidance
CB: But I have no idea what that means right now
UA: This is scary
HD: What do I do
WR: I want to push the fast forward button right now

** Now take a deep breath or two and proceed to the second round of tapping**

Round Two:

EB: I really need to take a deep breath and relax
SE: That is so out of character for me
UE: I am the one telling others to relax
UN: I want to trust my intuition
CH: And follow my gut instinct
CB: It’s usually always right
UA: I choose to let go of my need to be perfect right now
HD: And trust in a higher power
WR: This is another instance of divine timing at its best

** Now take a deep breath or two and proceed to the third round of tapping**

Round Three:

EB: I choose to forgive myself and anyone else that may have contributed to this situation
SE: Part of growing and healing is learning to forgive
UE: Wow, that felt great to say!
UN: I love how I am handling this right now
CH: Everything is falling into place as we speak
CB: No need to see the ending
UA: I am trusting the process and embracing the outcome
HD: I am feeling more confident, calm and peaceful
WR: I choose to believe that everything will be OK!

**Take another deep breath and repeat as necessary*

Let it go, let it go, let it go!

I was reading an article by Mike Robbins recently about blame and it prompted me to think about how often we play the victim and blame others in our day to day lives.

I often watch conversations unfold at work about situations that did not play out as they should have.

For whatever reason, these events did not have a positive outcome, and people immediately started pointing fingers and placing blame.

When you blame and assume the victim role, you don't have to make changes, you don't have to be a leader, you don't have to look within yourself for ways to be proactive instead of reactive - you don't have to take responsibility!

What would happen if we stepped up to the plate and put an end to blame? What would happen if we took responsibility for our actions and our reactions? What would our lives look like?

If we let go of blame, it allows us to take control, to feel freedom from negative emotions, to finally take the first step of healing and moving forward!

Look at your life and ask yourself if you are playing the victim, if you are blaming others so you don't have to take responsibility.

Who are you blaming right now?
How different would your life look if you took back control?

Empower yourself today and let it go, let it go, let it go!

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself!

I am often asked about the act of forgiving; just how does one forgive and move on?

I strongly agree with the article in my previous post. Inadequate skills are taught on how to forgive.

The ability to forgive needs to come from the heart and when your heart hurts, it makes it very difficult to take that first step!

I have created a tapping script to help those that need to take that first baby step.
Please fill in the blanks with the name or names of those that have taken control of your life by holding you hostage via your thoughts and memories.

As you are tapping, make sure you have a paper and pencil handy to write down any other thoughts or feelings that come up.

You may need to tap on those memories that surface, and get specific about the event/s that still haunt you.
Releasing those thoughts can be freeing, giving you a whole new lease on life

Give it a try, it can't hurt!

If you are new to this blog and unfamiliar with the tapping process, please see the "introduction to tapping" link at the top of this page. It will provide you with everything you need to know!

Karate chop point:

"Even though I am still so hurt and angry, I love and accept myself anyway”
"Even though I can’t let go, I accept these feelings and everything they mean to me ”
"Even though I don’t think I can ever move beyond this, I am a good person anyway”

Round One:

EB: All this anger
SE: All this hurt
UE: I keep replaying that horrible event – over and over
UN: Like a bad movie that never ends
CH: Sometimes my hurt and anger turns to tears
CB: All this tightness in my body
UA: I hate being a prisoner of my thoughts
HD: I don’t like feeling this way
WR: I just don’t know how to let go!

** Now take a deep breath or two and proceed to the second round of tapping**

Round Two:

EB: I’m afraid if I forgive, I am letting _____ “off the hook”
SE: I know all of these feelings are not good for my body
UE: I might consider turning this around
UN: I need to do this for ME, not for ____
CH: I am the one paying the price, not ____
CB: Enough is enough; I am turning this around today!
UA: I refuse to let _____ have control over me and my body
HD: I am ready to let go
WR: Let’s get started!

** Now take a deep breath or two and proceed to the third round of tapping**

Round Three:

EB: I will start by forgiving myself and anyone else that may have contributed to this situation
SE: I can’t change the past, I have to move forward
UE: I am grateful for my new attitude
UN: My body is starting to feel lighter
CH: It feels good thinking about regaining control of my life
CB: I choose to be free of this hurt
UA: I choose to let go for good
HD: The gray cloud is lifting
WR: The sun is starting to shine in my heart once again!

Take a deep breath and repeat as often as necessary until the emotional charge has been eliminated


Tapping Tip:

If you need to free any emotions that hold resentment, tap on the inside of the index finger where the nail bed meets the finger.

Tapping on this meridian helps release feelings of guilt, past hurts and for those that are having a hard time of letting go.

Focus on the thought that is haunting you, tap the index finger and feel the negative emotions melt away.